Sixth Words from B.C.

It rained all weekend.
A pisser
Cumulonimbus pissing
The sky's been drinking the Pacific
Unloads on the coast before hopping over the mountains
Kept on till Monday
Got on a bus, just spitting
Hit the Skytrain, full rain by the end of the line
Commercial Drive
A common destination
Center of attention and activities
Fulfilling for my proclivities
Gets dark so soon
Four hours from noon, onset of the gloom
Doesn't shut down
Electric lights provide artificial night life
Yeah, that's cool but I sleep too late
Not enough windows
Can't see the day break
Clocks don't tick
More electronics
I won't think about it
Stop

I went back to the Spirit Within. Wanted something different from salvia's kick-you-in-the-face type of trip. Something a little slower, more laid back. Heard a suggestion of peyote tea. My interest is piqued. How much is that? Sixty to eighty bucks. Whoa. A little out of my price range right now. I'm maxing at forty. What else you got? Seeds. You don't put these ones in the ground. What'd he say? My Lady of the Morning? Yeah, that might have been it. Like Morning Glory? Kind of. Take a look. It's about the size of a pea, brown fuzzy husk. You can use sandpaper to rub it off. A knife works just as well. Don't want to leave it on. You'll get sick. Give em a shave and chew what's left. Ok, how much? Seven bucks a gram. That's what I like to hear. And the active chemical? LSA (lysergic acid amide). Yeah, I'm familiar. Like natural LSD (lysergic acid diethylamide). So what's the dose? Well, I knew a guy who ate one seed every day for a little mental clarity. Three or four will give you a nice mellow feeling. Take ten, it's like a full blown acid trip. I'll take two grams.
Worked out to 21 seeds. I took one that night. Can't say I noticed any effects. Not to say there weren't any, but obviously it wasn't a strong enough dose to start the walls bleeding. I tried taking four the next night. After an hour or two I could definitely sense it. The feeling was quite comparable to taking about two grams of psilocybin mushrooms. Noteworthy was the lack of muscle tension that accompanies the latter. No jaw clenching and fist squeezing. The same strange sensation in the sinuses. Certainly the same pupil dilation as well. Enjoyable? Yes. Though as with mushrooms I do prefer the transcendentalism that comes with higher doses.

Wednesday. Met Tim at Grandview Park and went to a writer's group at the Purple Thistle (it's sort of a community center for street youth). Fairly enjoyed it. May very well go again next week. I wanted to include one of the pieces I wrote as part of an exercise and here seems as good a place as any. It's not the longest piece I've written but it's what I came up with in fifteen minutes.

His mind fell to the floor like a drunk at 3 AM. His eyes took in the splash and splatter across the carpet. "Is that going to leave a stain?" That must be someone else's voice in my head, the mind thought as it sank into the blue foam underpadding. How did it get there? "Why, I've always been here. I don't like to talk much when you're inside crowding things up." An eyebrow twitched on his otherwise vacant face. A cocker spaniel wandered in and started lapping at the ectoplasm that was spreading out from its point of impact. Could you tell my body to get that dog out of here? I think he's eating my capacity for sarcasm. "You mean MY body? You're just going to soak into the floor anyway. A mind is a terrible thing to waste, after all." His mind was not amused by this in the least. It might have been but the dog had moved on to its sense of irony. What do you mean by YOUR body? I've been running things in there for 25 years. "And I think we're long overdue for a change. If anything of you doesn't get digested you'll have to let me know all about the intricacies of canine viscera. Ta."

So. What happened on Thursday? Nothing. Nothing happened on Thursday. What makes you think anything happened on Thursday? I didn't say anything happened on Thursday. I don't know what you're thinking if you think something happened on Thursday. There are certain things and they happen, but those things absolutely did not happen on Thursday. No more questions.

I went to the library today. I was returning the Illuminatus! Trilogy which I had finished. I highly recommend it to any and everyone. Especially if you're interested in anarchism, psychedelics, occultism and magic, and/or conspiracies. I had started reading On the Road but I'm glad I only read the first chapter because the library had gotten in the third and final of my interlibrary loan requests. True Hallucinations by Terence McKenna. I started reading it tonight and so far it's about an expedition he took with his brother and three other people to the Amazonian jungles of Columbia in search of some rare tryptamine based hallucinogens used in the shamanic rites of local native tribes. It reminded me of the movie Fitzcarraldo because the trail that they have to take through the jungle was created for accessing and transporting rubber. I've only read a couple chapters at this point, but it's quite interesting. While I was at the library I also picked up a book of poetry by Charles Bukowski. I figure I can read it a bit at a time while I'm reading True Hallucinations and On the Road. Maybe I'll get some inspiration from it for my own poetry as well.

I'm not going to go on much longer. I know I'm breaking the chain of successively larger emails but it's hard to top the four pages of my last one. I'd just like to say thanks to Trevor Wideman for turning me on to the idea of quesadillas as a meal. They're very easy to make and highly customizable and they've become a major part of my diet since I've moved out here. There are still a few people who haven't written to me at all yet. I'd like to give those people a kick in the ass. Anyone who is in a nearer vicinity is welcome to this by proxy if they feel inclined to help me out. Everyone else, I hope you are having a good time and enjoy your weekend. Until the next one.

Tony "If it's all the same could you take the butter off the table?" Hawkins